Post By : 2025-05-21"

Parents need to talk to their tweens sooner about puberty"

For many parents, the idea of having “the talk” with their kids may be daunting, making them feel embarrassed or squeamish. But many parents are conflating the classic growing-up talk about sex with another crucial conversation they should be having, new research suggests.

The talk in question should happen earlier than one may think, and it’s not necessarily about sex. It’s about puberty.

About 41% of parents reported they approached talking with their child about puberty only when prompted by the child, according to a new C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health released on Monday.

Only 36% of parents think it’s best to start puberty conversations before age 10, according to the poll, although puberty has been starting earlier.

The poll’s researchers focused on why many preteens and tweens are unprepared for the changes that they experience during puberty.

“Our thinking was, how much of that (lack of preparation) might be due to how their parents are approaching the task of talking with them, helping prepare them for puberty,” said Sarah Clark, codirector of the poll and a research scientist in the department of pediatrics at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

“When we’re talking about these younger kids, 7, 8, 9, maybe even 10, as they’re just getting started with puberty, they don’t necessarily need the sex talk,” said Clark, noting that tweens and teens need a conversation about what is or will soon happen with their body and emotions.

“We all tend to be a little calmer, a little less anxious, and deal with things better when we know what to expect,” she added.

The Mott Poll, which was conducted in February 2025, surveyed 911 parents with at least one child ages 7–12 to understand how parents approach conversations about puberty. The margin of error is plus or minus 2 to 5 percentage points.

Bring it up before your child does

While many parents said they only talked with their child about puberty only when their child brought it up, Clark explained that this could lead to confusion and anxiety in children, especially if they feel their parents haven’t prepared them.

Kids who develop early may become anxious not understanding changes in themselves, and late-developing kids may see some changes in their classmates and wonder, “what’s wrong with me?”

Instead of parents waiting until asked by the child, Clark suggested giving your child information in bits and pieces over time “to help your kid get the concept that these changes are going to happen. They are normal.”

And while nearly half of parents said they felt “very confident” in recognizing signs of puberty in their children, Clark said, “parents might be a little overconfident. Some of those first changes are subtle” — like hair growing and voices changing — and parents can’t actually see the hormonal or emotional changes.